Can You fall in Love With Someone You’re Not Physically Attracted To? Can We Have a Future? Read It!
Falling in love is one of the most magical feelings. Isn’t it? And it especially feels worth when we fall for the right one.
Love is like a collection of mixed feelings; love is the only emotion, after fear that can make you feel everything at the same time. Also, the feelings are very evenly distributed.
A little bit of the butterflies roaming in the tummy, with a dash of the “walking on clouds and violin playing in the background”. A lot of awareness that this is happening for real, followed by the subtle, pure and equally erotic physical attraction that there can ever be. Now, this is the scenario of most of the relationships, the ones with the normal start.
Then what about the cases where there is love but no physical attraction? Because obviously, we cannot force our sexual attractions, and when there is no physical attraction. Let’s admit it, couples are bound to have intimacy issues and they may turn severe.
Talking about this very situation, I believe this to be a two theory concept:
One in which the two people are really in love but there is some kind of a physical glitch (maybe a deformity, some extra mole on a weird place or anything that does not lies up to the other person’s expectations.).
Second, when you fall in love with the very existence of the person, there is no sexual or physical attraction whatsoever, you just admire the person.
Now in the second case, the word ‘love’ is not to be confused with something a couple in relation or marriage has. It can be anything, like a friend has for some other friend. It is the first situation that causes a problem because:
COME ON! Why would you judge someone physically, especially the person you claim you are in love with!? It’s their body and that’s how they were born! Doesn’t leave them any choice does it?
Secondly, if you really have a very strong feeling about the person and are not sexually attracted, it’s okay; give it some time. Although sexual attractions cannot be controlled but they can definitely be educated, they can be induced with time. I understand that our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but being accepting and sharing an unconditional love is totally on an individual.
The simple logic behind this is, when there is love, there is a physical attraction, that’s how the human mind works. If there’s no physical attraction, then that would be straight away called ‘admiration’. So, there are ways by which the physical attraction can be induced (because, your inhibitions are rooted in your mind, and that’s what stops you, as we know it that “the mind limits the body”)
Firstly, if you meet someone for the very first time, don’t make a quick decision based on the fact that you are not attracted physically right away. Remember, slow physical attraction makes you come face to face with the quality of that person.
As easy it is to assess the imperfections in a person, it’s equally difficult to observe and hold on to the actual spirit of that person. So when you know that what you have is love, look out for the deeper aspects of connecting with your partner, because, what is love without hurdles.
As time passes by, start to care for the person deeply. Our human mind happens to get attached to the person we deeply care about. It grows some imaginary tendrils in order to connect to that very person and that’s how our imagination, of sexual attraction, grows. That’s how our psyche creates attachments.
Try to focus more on your desire that you carry for the person rather than just pinpointing on the superficial qualities. ‘Coz, more the focus on the things that trigger our desire towards them, the more passion it builds.
Don’t force your feelings, let it come to you, like a normal flow of feelings. It’s often seen that when we force our feelings, it creates a further block which is absolutely not needed in this case.
Think both emotionally and physically.
Remember there is nothing wrong in taking things slow. You absolutely need not feel threatened about why you are catching feelings slowly. It is a good sign. Start slow, bit-by-bit, take one step at a time. Start with holding hands and walking, or sit beside each other on the movies holding hands. An innocent peck on the cheek if you don’t want to lunge onto kissing yet. All of this is absolutely okay. And it is because of the fact that we should learn to walk before we run.
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