Is it your partner or their Adhd that you are unhappy with?
Human beings are social animals. They are both psychologically and emotionally charged for making, process, understand, and create healthy relationships. However, the connections they make are subject to their psychological and emotional liabilities.
Psychological disorders, especially ADHD, if not treated at an early age, can lead to severe disturbances in adult life and their relationships. ADHD and romantic relationships have several loopholes that make it difficult to maintain the relationship.
Arguing with someone who has ADHD, breaking up with TrADHD triggers all triggers of an ADHD toxic relationship. ADHD impulsive breakup also leads to the worsening of such individuals' condition, thus, emotionally scarring them from ever having a good relationship.
How does ADHD affect adult relationships?
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can cause problems in many areas of adult life. This disorder can be particularly toxic when it comes to your closest relationships. The intensity of damage is higher if the symptoms of ADHD have never been properly diagnosed or treated.
Symptoms of ADHD that can create relationship problems
One of the common symptoms of ADHD is having a malformed attention span that doesn't last long. This can lead to severe problems in your relationship, as it may make your partner feel ignored or devalued.
ADHD-affected individuals also miss out on certain important details and may struggle to remember things, leading to frustration. ADHD and romantic relationships are often two mismatched sides of a coin that don't help each other, as long as it isn't treated early.
This is the next troubling symptom that validates ADHD and romantic relationships' toxicity: short-term memory. People with ADHD, even if they pay attention, tend to forget things they conversed or promised.
This can spurt severe intimacy issues with your partner as forgetting anniversaries or birthdays are red flags that may uproot relationships. This may lead your partner to think that you don't care enough or are unreliable to be trusted with anything.
ADHD individuals have the impulse to blurt out things that they don't think before saying. This can hurt the other partner's feelings and lead to constant fights between the couple, ruining their connection. Arguing with someone with ADHD repeats the cycle of symptoms listed above and isn’t quite a solution to any problem.
People with ADHD have trouble moderating their emotions. This may lead to your partner having to be more cautious of their own, and this reduces the transparency of the relationship as one may never know what shall trigger their temper.
The person with ADHD:
They may feel constantly nagged, criticized, and managed around, not like an adult of their age. They feel bad for being treated special and find it hard to please their partners. This results in people avoiding their partners or, sometimes, just impulsive outbursts that further strain the relationship. They wish their partner would treat them normally and allow them to take control of their life.
The person without ADHD:
They feel lonely and ignored. They feel the burden of their affairs and are tired of taking care of everything on their own. The symptoms of impulsive outbursts and forgetfulness take a toll on their partners' trust, and they don't feel satisfied anymore.
Both sides face varying issues that can tamper with the relationship. ADHD and romantic relationships may often seem too stressful to manage. But it is very much true that people with ADHD deserve love just as much as other normal people. A healthier and happier relationship can be built if both partners choose good communication methods and understand each other.
Understanding your relationship: tips
Study about ADHD
It is better if both of you understand the disorder better as it will be easier to understand each other and make decisions well. It shall create more solutions than problems and helps not to take the symptoms personally.
Acknowledge the impact your behaviour has on your partner
The ADHD partner needs to understand and analyze the influence that their symptoms have on their partner. Their partner needs to understand as well that how their nagging and constant reminders make them feel. They mustn't be disregarded simply because they seem more dependent on you.
Separate your partner from their symptoms or behaviours
Understand that your partner is a human and not the disorder they hold. Split up their forgetfulness and lack of attention as symptoms of ADHD and not the absence of care or love. This must be followed by the ADHD partner too, who needs to understand that their partner's nagging has nothing to do with who they are as a person.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Empathize with what they are going through. ADHD or not, each human deserves a good listener to understand the trauma they face. It is advisable to fix and dedicate some time to talk about each other wholeheartedly, without any inhibitions. ADHD and romantic relationships are often underrated for their lack of understanding, but empathizing can steer your relationship the other way.
Break the parent-child dynamic
The relationship's responsibilities are more often cast on the normal partner who breaks after their saturation point. This can be ended by both partners taking responsibility for their actions. Gentle reminders on the non-ADHD partner and acceptance of their symptoms by the ADHD partner will go a long way in twisting the lopsided relationship.